Hullo! Hamas

Hamas	Hullo!
Israel	Hullo! Is this Hammas?
Hamas	Who is calling?
Israel	This is Israel.
Hamas	We recognize no-one by that name.
Israel	You know the people you are fighting against
Hamas	Oh! You mean the Zionist entity - we don't talk to you.
Israel	Why not?
Hamas	Because you are occupiers of our land and perscutors of the Muslim people.
Israel	So why don't you hang up the phone?
Hamas	We would if this were a real conversation. But since it is a figment of the Jew Lewin's imagination we know it will be understood as his construction of what we might say if we did not hang up the phone.
Israel	Fair enough. Listen the UN wants us to establish a cease fire. We are happy to do this if you stop firing rockets and agree not to do so again. Then we can talk about normalizing relations between us.
Hamas	We can't do that. We cannot stop firing rockets until you withdraw your troops and stop killing our innocent people.
Israel	Innocent people are dying only because you persist in firing your rockets and then put innocent people in military target places.
Hamas	Our people understand it is an honor to die defending our cause.
Israel	Well then how can we avoid killing innocent people?
Hamas	Easy, just stop attacking us.
Israel	But how are we supposed to defend ourselves?
Hamas	You cannot defend this illegitimate project of occupation. Sooner or later you will realize you must capitulate.
Israel	You mean we must just surrender to you to kill us all.
Hamas	Not necessarily. You may live under the legitimate rule of Allah. You can even choose to embrace the one true creed of Islam.
Israel	You do not talk for all of the Palestinians.
Hamas	Some of our brothers are misguided. They have set up unholy collaborative organizations.
Israel	What if these organizations agree to a cease fire, or to negotiations and the establishment of a two-state solution?
Hamas	We may agree to go along for the time being. There is precendent for this in the words and actions of the Prophet. But in the end there is no place for a non-Muslim authority in this land.
Israel	If we withdraw now will you stop the rockets?
Hamas	Certainly not. We will show the world how we have survived your agression. We will double the number of rockets.
Israel	What if we destroy all your rockets?
Hamas	We will get more from Iran.
Israel	OK, thanks, nice talking to you.
Hamas	Call again any time.